As salamoe alaikom,
Few months ago, I had a fierce discussion with my wife, which I said the divorce word and left the house angry and went to my family. My family heard about the situation and the divorce on that day. My family brokered right away. My father said that saying divorce in an anger state does not count. I spoke to imam about this situation, and he told me the divorce only do not count when you are in an extreme anger that you did not realize what you said. I do not agree, many people get angry and say a lot of things in the heat of the moment. Anyway, I said in the past more than three times the word divorce in a state of anger (not like the imam described). I also kicked my wife out house many times. Important for you to know is that I have burnout complaints and chronic headache; I get fast triggered. The doctor knows about this. Also, I need to mention that in the past we divorced on papers without the intentions to break our Islamic nikah (according to the law we are not married), we preferred a cohabitation contract instead. Since the imam told us that our marriage is not valid anymore, someone told me we cannot divorce just like that. Because one of the conditions for a divorce is that the wife must not have her menses. When she has her menses, and you divorce her it does not count as a divorce. This is according to Shaykh Ibn Baaz and Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen. It’s also mention on this website: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/72417/divorce-at-the-time-of-menses I did not know about this. Now, the divorce had been pronounced in the past. We do not know what condition my wife was in, menstruating or not. It happened too long ago. Based on all of this, we want to know if our marriage is valid or not. May Allah forgive me and heal me. I regret everything. Please do not share this information.
If a person issues a divorce in the state of anger the divorce will take place. You mention in your question that you issued divorce more than three times to your wife and not in the manner your Imam described, hence, you were aware of what you were saying, you were just extremely angry at the time. Based on this, your marriage with your wife will have come to an end. Also, as you have issued three or more divorces you can no longer re-marry your wife.
As for the issue of giving divorce in the state of menstruation the majority of jurists including the Hanafi jurists are of the opinion that divorce will take effect, though one will be sinful for issuing a divorce whilst their wife is in that state. For more information on this you may want to read:
We pray that Allah the Almighty assist you during these difficult times.
Ifta Research Fellow
Checked & Approved by:
Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Mufti Zubair Patel