Issues regarding marriage issues and divorce

May 4, 2022 | Talaq (Divorce)


Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ May the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be with you

Me and my wife have been married for 7 years .. we had initials issues where i was abusive and “Praise be to ALLAH” – ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّٰهِ we got over the phase and had never been abusive since then .

During the initial phase of our fights my wife cheated on me giving reasons that i was abusive. We both forgave each other and lead on to leave peacefully. For past 2 years we have been outgoing meeting mutual friends and when she starts to talk to male friends i started to have doubts and although she wasnt cheating but i went to the same phase where i knew she was cheating and some how i started doubting her which is wrong but i couldnt help it . Our fights got worse since last one year and although we are living together for our 7 year old daughter but she doesnt allow me to sleep with her for past 1 year.

My questions are following:

1. Living like this for sake of daughter and not having intimate relation .. is that right or we are doing sin . My wife clearly says she does not want this with me because i doubt her

2. She says i wont take khula you give me divorce . If a girl wants divorce and i am not willing to destroy my daughters life is it wrong. Should i divorce her because i dont want to tie her with me for no reason as Quran also prohibits that ?

3. If i divorce i want to give her 1 divorce and not do rujo so divorce happens automatically after iddat. But my wife wants 3 divorce together ? What should i do

4. If i do divorce then where will she complete iddat ? She says when i will divorce her she will go away she wont complete idat in my house

5. I have tried my best to continue and still want to continue but she says she cant even continue this for sake of Allah . What should i do best accroding to sunnah and quran and how should i do it.

. جَزاكَ اللهُ خَـيْراً Jazak ALLAH khair “May ALLAH reward you with good”


1. It is difficult for us to advise you on exactly what you should do as we are not aware of the full details of your situation. We would suggest going through some marriage counselling to see if there is any chance you could reconcile your differences. Some spouses remain together for the benefit of their children even though the spouses no longer have any interest in remaining married. In some cases, this works but in other cases this is more harmful for the children as they grow up in a hostile environment. You would not be sinful if both of you choose to remain together as a married couple for the benefit of your daughter until she is older. It would also be permissible for you to separate provided that it is done amicably and both parents have reasonable access to their child.

2. If you are not interested in a relationship with your wife then you may want to consider a divorce taking into consideration the points mentioned above. As for the Qur’anic reference this is when a person is not fulfilling the rights and responsibilities towards the wife but at the same time not issuing a divorce so that the wife can move on.

3. We would advise giving one divorce only. This keeps open the possibility of getting married again should circumstances change. There is no need to give three divorces at once. If your wife is worried that she will not be free from the marriage then you should inform her that once the ‘iddah is over the marriage will have completely ended and without her consent and a new nikah, the marriage cannot be renewed, hence, she will have full control of her situation.

4. She must carry out the ‘iddah in your house. If she does not, she will be sinful but not you.

5. If she is not willing to remain married then you may want to let her go by giving her one divorce. Ensure that the separation takes place in a good manner taking into consideration the rights of each parent in relation to their daughter etc.

Answered by:
Ifta Research Fellow

Checked & Approved by:
Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Mufti Zubair Patel