Studying deen and parents rights

Nov 14, 2023 | Sacred Knowledge


Asalamu alykum,
My question is please advise the right of my parents over me. I am the only child, Alhamdulilah we are a wealthy family and both my parents are middle aged and healthy. I would like to study in Pakistan because in my country there are no Darul ulooms, there are some in England but I would still be far away for a long time. My father is also a Jamaat sathi and he is fine with me studying InshaAllah but my mother is very attatched to me.
1. Please advise regarding my parents rights.
2. Any duas to increase my brainpower capability and memory
3. Would you recommend studying in Raiwind madrassa or have any info about it.
4. Any advice
JazakAllah khair


May Allah bless you for your concern towards your parents.

The parent-child relationship is one of the strongest and most important relationships. Accordingly, Islam has given parents a number of rights over their children. These rights are:

  1. Be excellent in conduct toward them, honour them by word and deed, e.g. talk to them with gentleness and kindness, involve them in your decisions, consult them and share good news with them.
  2. Avoid causing them any trouble, even if they are at fault.
  3. If they have a need, assist them.
  4. Obey them.

The parental right of obedience does not mean that parents should control all aspects of the children’s lives. Rather, parents have a reciprocal responsibility to allow their children to have the opportunity to grow and develop on their own terms, as long as their path is lawful and good.

For this reason, the shari’ah has laid certain guidelines as to when obedience to parents is necessary and when it is not.

  • Parents must be obeyed if they command something which is commanded by the shari’ah or prohibit something prohibited by the shari’ah.
  • Parent must not be obeyed if they command something which is prohibited or prohibitively disliked by the shari’ah or prohibit something obligated or strongly emphasised by the shari’ah.
  • If they command something which is permissible or lightly disliked or prohibit something which is permissible or recommended in the shari’ah, then:
    1. If the command entails some benefit for them and no harm for the child, it must be obeyed
    2. If the command entails no benefit for them and no harm for the child then also it must be obeyed
    3. If the command entails no benefit for them and some harm for the child, then they do not need to be obeyed

In your case, you wish to study in a seminary where you will lodge and be distant from your parents. From your question, it seems that your father is fine with this but your mother may not be fine with it. Since seeking knowledge is a recommended action in the religion, if your going to seek knowledge will not affect your mother’s rights in any way, you may go. Keep in mind that they are not obliged to pay for these studies. However, if you can find a seminary closer to home whereby you will be able to visit her regularly, this would be ideal. For this reason, we would recommend that you join a seminary in England rather than Pakistan. Keep in mind that they are not obliged to pay for these studies.

As for the Raiwind seminary, it is the hub of the tabligh movement in Pakistan. Beyond that, I am personally not too well aware of the academic standards or facilities of the seminary. If you are intent on attending the Raiwind seminary, I would recommend you visit it prior to enrolling and ask questions to alumni and students of the institute to determine the experience and learning that is on offer.

Regarding supplications for increasing brainpower and memory, these are some that I can recommend based on anecdotal experience:

رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِّن لِّسَانِي يَفْقَهُوا قَوْلِي

 سُبْحَانَكَ لَا عِلْمَ لَنَا إِلَّا مَا عَلَّمْتَنَا ۖ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ الْعَلِيمُ الْحَكِيمُ

رَبِّ زِدْنِي عِلْمًا 

Lastly, we would advise that you do istikhara before making the decision of whether and which seminary you would like to enrol in, and also that you make sure that you have your parents happiness and support along your journey of sacred knowledge.

سنن الترمذي ت بشار (3/ 261) – حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللهِ بْنِ عُمَرَ، عَنْ نَافِعٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: السَّمْعُ وَالطَّاعَةُ عَلَى الْمَرْءِ الْمُسْلِمِ فِيمَا أَحَبَّ وَكَرِهَ مَا لَمْ يُؤْمَرْ بِمَعْصِيَةٍ، فَإِنْ أُمِرَ بِمَعْصِيَةٍ فَلاَ سَمْعَ عَلَيْهِ وَلاَ طَاعَةَ. وَفِي البَاب عَنْ عَلِيٍّ، وَعِمْرَانَ بْنِ حُصَيْنٍ، وَالحَكَمِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو الغِفَارِيِّ. وَهَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ.

الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (4/ 125) – لَا يَحِلُّ سَفَرٌ فِيهِ خَطَرٌ إلَّا بِإِذْنِهِمَا. وَمَا لَا خَطَرَ فِيهِ يَحِلُّ بِلَا إذْنٍ وَمِنْهُ السَّفَرُ فِي طَلَبِ الْعِلْمِ

حاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (4/ 125) – (قَوْلُهُ فِيهِ خَطَرٌ) كَالْجِهَادِ وَسَفَرِ الْبَحْرِ وَالْخَطَرُ بِالْخَاءِ الْمُعْجَمَةِ وَالطَّاءِ الْمُهْمَلَةِ الْمَفْتُوحَتَيْنِ الْإِشْرَافُ عَلَى الْهَلَاكِ كَمَا فِي ط عَنْ الْقَامُوسِ (قَوْلُهُ وَمَا لَا خَطَرَ) كَالسَّفَرِ لِلتِّجَارَةِ وَالْحَجِّ وَالْعُمْرَةِ يَحِلُّ بِلَا إذْنٍ إلَّا إنْ خِيفَ عَلَيْهِمَا الضَّيْعَةُ سَرَخْسِيٌّ (قَوْلُهُ وَمِنْهُ السَّفَرُ فِي طَلَبِ الْعِلْمِ) ؛ لِأَنَّهُ أَوْلَى مِنْ التِّجَارَةِ إذَا كَانَ الطَّرِيقُ آمِنًا وَلَمْ يَخَفْ عَلَيْهِمَا الضَّيْعَةَ سَرَخْسِيٌّ

حاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (2/ 620) – (قَوْلُهُ حَجُّ الْفَرْضِ أَوْلَى مِنْ طَاعَةِ الْوَالِدَيْنِ) لِأَنَّهُ لَا طَاعَةَ لِمَخْلُوقٍ فِي مَعْصِيَةِ الْخَالِقِ سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى لَكِنْ هَذَا إذَا لَمْ يَضِيعَا بِسَفَرِهِ لِمَا قَدَّمَهُ أَوَّلَ الْحَجِّ أَنَّهُ يُكْرَهُ بِلَا إذْنٍ مِمَّنْ يَجِبُ اسْتِئْذَانُهُ أَيْ كَأَحَدِ الْأَبَوَيْنِ الْمُحْتَاجِ إلَى خِدْمَتِهِ، وَقَدَّمْنَا أَنَّ الْأَجْدَادَ وَالْجَدَّاتِ كَالْأَبَوَيْنِ عِنْدَ فَقْدِهِمَا (قَوْلُهُ بِخِلَافِ النَّفْلِ) أَيْ فَإِنَّ طَاعَتَهُمَا أَوْلَى مِنْهُ مُطْلَقًا كَمَا قَدَّمْنَاهُ عَنْ الْبَحْرِ عَنْ الْمُلْتَقَطِ

Answered by:
Ifta Research Fellow

Checked & Approved by:
Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Mufti Zubair Patel