Question

Assalam Alaikum,

I am a student and I have fell for a guy that’s also a Muslim and he’s kind hearted, smart and is well with his deen. We have one issue as we can’t get acceptance by both of our parents. We are tired of being in haram and want a Nikkah and make it halal by next year. Our parents will not accept this though because we are young and … We both have become more pious. I have started hijab, and have felt closer with Allah with him. Is there a way to do Nikkah in secret. We are Hanafis and in our madhab Nikkah without a Wali is allowed. Can we do a nikkah in secret and make a legal marriage as soon as we hit 18? One more point. If our parents accept in the future can we redo the Nikkah for show?

JazakAllah Khair

Answer

It is not advisable to get married without your parents/guardians consent. Parents will generally have their child’s best interests at heart and if they do not want you to get married now there might be some wisdom behind this. You are still quite young and there is no rush for you to get married at this time other than the fact that you are in an unlawful relationship.

We would like to suggest the following option which should be a reasonable compromise from both sides. Postpone any decision to get married at this time and at the same time stop any unlawful interaction with this person. As you are still young, give yourself some time to think about whether or not this is something you really want to do. If you are not in constant contact with the person it will be easier for you to look at this objectively without having any feelings or emotions influencing your decision. You should also do istikharah and make du’a to Allah the Almighty to guide you to the right decision.

If after a year or two of not being in contact and praying to Allah the Almighty, you are convinced that you still want to get married to this person then you should consult a third party who your parents respect and will be willing to take advice from. This could be an uncle, aunt or even a local scholar. If that third party agrees with your decision then they can either talk to your parents on your behalf or you can have them present when you go to speak to your parents. If they are happy for you to get married then you should get married.

If however, the third party or your parents disagree with your decision to marry this person, then you should think carefully about why they might be saying this. You should try and understand this from their perspective also.

Bare in mind that going against your parents and getting married regardless of their opinion might put stress on your relationship with them. This could become an issue in the future as married couples tend to need their parents support at different times in their marriage and if there is this stress in the relationship it may be difficult for you to gain their support at a time when you are most in need of it.

If you decide that regardless of your parent’s opinion, you still want to get married then that will be your own personal choice. If you have a nikah carried out the nikah will be valid provided the minimum requirements are met such as having two male Muslim witnesses present. However, as mentioned above we would not advise getting married now nor would we advise getting married without your parent’s consent whether now or in the future.

Bare in mind that your current relationship is unlawful and that this relationship will not bring about any blessings. You must repent to Allah the Almighty for what you have done until today and stop any further communication for the time being.

If the nikah is done another nikah can be done in the future. The intention should be to re-new and strengthen the marriage and not for show.

Feel free to contact us again if you require any further clarification or advise.

Answered by:
Ifta Research Fellow

Checked & Approved by:
Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Mufti Zubair Patel