Question

Assalam o Alikum
1. Is calling off engagement without any valid reason permissible?

Answer

The Shari‘a does not recognise an engagement as a binding relationship between two individuals. As you have suggested, it is a promise to marry at a date in the future.[1]

To enter a promise with the intention of breaking it is unlawful, as this is lying and deception. If an individual makes an engagement with sincere intentions but then decides against the union, it is permissible for them to break the engagement. One is not sinful for breaking a promise if they agreed to it sincerely, but it would incur slight dislike (karaha tanzihi), according to some scholars.[2]

If there were deception and lying involved, the perpetrators would be accountable for their actions in front of Allah if they did not seek forgiveness from the individuals they hurt. Moreover, gifts made in earnest are valid and do not have to be returned. Though, it may be socially responsible to return such gifts.

We acknowledge the emotional and social difficulty of your circumstances. As you have written, this series of events has turned your social standing upside down. May Allah ease your heartbreak and replace this engagement with a better and more fulfilling marriage. Ameen. Refer to Mufti Abdurrahman’s video “Don’t be Depressed: You don’t know your future”.[3] This lecture explains pre-destination and how we should orient ourselves when tragedy strikes. As the Prophet ﷺ said:

A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer. There is good in everyone, (but) cherish that which gives you benefit (in the Hereafter) and seek help from Allah and do not lose heart. If anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don’t say: If I had not done that, it would not have happened so and so, but say: Allah did that what He had ordained to do. Our “if” opens the (gate) for Satan.[4]

When tragedy strikes, the Prophet ﷺ informs us not to think about the “what ifs,” but to accept Allah’s decree and the plan he has for us. I hope Mufti Abdurrahman’s reminders from the Qur’an and Hadith offer you some solace that Allah has a much better plan for you.

[1] Mufti Taqi Uthmani writes: Mangni is a promise by which both the parties agree to enter into a marriage in future. This promise in itself is neither an innovation nor a sinful act. Obviously, even in the days of the Holy Prophet and the blessed Sahabah a marriage used to be preceded by a mutual understanding or a promise with the actual marriage taking place at a later stage. Nevertheless, no previous celebration or function is necessary for entering into a marriage nor was it a practice in the days of the Holy Prophet to celebrate this occasion. Therefore, if someone celebrates the occasion in the belief that it is a Sunnah or a part of religion then it would become a bid’ah or innovation. Even if it is celebrated without holding it as a part of religion it embodies many evil practices, therefore, celebration of mangni should be avoided. See: https://albalagh.net/qa/0047.shtml

[2]              بريقة محمودية في شرح طريقة محمدية وشريعة نبوية في سيرة أحمدية» (2/ 286):  (فَالْوَعْدُ بِنِيَّةِ الْخُلْفِ كَذِبٌ عَمْدٌ حَرَامٌ) فَالْوَفَاءُ بِهِ وَاجِبٌ كَالْفَسْخِ فِي الْعَقْدِ الْفَاسِدِ وَالتَّوْبَةِ لِلْمُذْنِبِ وَإِذَا وَفَّى ارْتَفَعَ الْإِثْمُ وَإِلَّا يُضَاعَفُ هَذَا إذَا خَلَا عَنْ الْعَوَارِضِ وَالْمَوَانِعِ وَطَبْعُهُ أَنْ يَكُونَ كَذَلِكَ وَإِلَّا فَسَيَأْتِي جَوَازُ الْكَذِبِ فِي ثَلَاثِ صُوَرٍ مَثَلًا (وَأَمَّا بِنِيَّةِ الْوَفَاءِ فَجَائِزٌ) بَلْ مَطْلُوبٌ إذَا كَانَ فِيهِ إدْخَالُ سُرُورٍ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِ (ثُمَّ إنَّهُ) أَيْ الْوَفَاءَ عَلَى تَقْدِيرِ نِيَّتِهِ (لَا يَجِبُ عِنْدَ أَكْثَرِ الْعُلَمَاءِ رَحِمَهُمْ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى) وَعِنْدَ غَيْرِ الْأَكْثَرِ وَاجِبٌ كَمَا يَأْتِي، وَإِنَّمَا لَمْ يَكُنْ وَاجِبًا مَعَ أَنَّهُ كَذِبٌ لِعَدَمِ تَعَمُّدِهِ كَمَا يُشِيرُ إلَيْهِ قَوْلُهُ آنِفًا كَذِبٌ عَمْدٌ فَمَا لَا عَمْدَ فِيهِ لَا وُجُوبَ فِيهِ (بَلْ يُسْتَحَبُّ فَيَكُونُ خُلْفُهُ) بِعَدَمِ الْوَفَاءِ (مَكْرُوهًا تَنْزِيهًا) وَنُقِلَ عَنْ الْعَيْنِيِّ شَرْحِ الْبُخَارِيِّ وَقَالَ الْعُلَمَاءُ يُسْتَحَبُّ الْوَفَاءُ بِالْهِبَةِ وَغَيْرِهَا اسْتِحْبَابًا مُؤَكَّدًا وَيُكْرَهُ إخْلَافُهُ كَرَاهَةَ تَنْزِيهٍ لَا تَحْرِيمٍ وَيُسْتَحَبُّ أَنْ يُعْقِبَ الْوَعْدَ بِالْمَشِيئَةِ لِيَخْرُجَ عَنْ صُورَةِ الْكَذِبِ وَيُسْتَحَبُّ إخْلَافُ الْوَعِيدِ إذَا كَانَ الْمُتَوَعَّدُ بِهِ لَا يَتَرَتَّبُ عَلَى تَرْكِهِ مَفْسَدَةٌ انْتَهَى وَفِي الْفَتَاوَى الزَّيْنِيَّةِ لِابْنِ نَجِيمٍ عِنْدَ عَدِّ الصَّغَائِرِ وَخُلْفِ الْوَعْدِ قَاصِدًا لَهُ (بِدَلِيلِ قَوْلِهِ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ تَعَالَى عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – «إذَا وَعَدَ الرَّجُلُ» أَخَاهُ بِمَا يُسَوَّغُ شَرْعًا «وَنَوَى أَنْ يَفِيَ» لَهُ قِيلَ فِيهِ دَلِيلٌ عَلَى أَنَّ النِّيَّةَ الصَّالِحَةَ يُثَابُ الْإِنْسَانُ عَلَيْهَا (فَلَمْ يَفِ بِهِ) قِيلَ لِعُذْرِ مَنْعِهِ (فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِ وَفِي رِوَايَةٍ فَلَا إثْمَ عَلَيْهِ) لَا يَخْفَى عَلَى هَذَا لَا تَقْرِيبَ؛ لِأَنَّ عَدَمَ الْإِتْيَانِ إنْ لِعُذْرٍ فَيَنْبَغِي أَنْ لَا يَكُونَ الْإِتْيَانُ مُسْتَحَبًّا وَلَا الْخُلْفُ مَكْرُوهًا بَلْ قَوْلُهُ فَلَا جُنَاحَ فَالظَّاهِرُ أَنَّهُ يَنْفِي الْكَرَاهَةَ مُطْلَقًا نَعَمْ قَدْ يَجْتَمِعُ الْجَوَازُ مَعَ الْكَرَاهَةِ كَمَا تَسْمَعُ كَثِيرًا مِنْ الْفُقَهَاءِ يَقُولُ يَجُوزُ مَعَ الْكَرَاهَةِ وَأَنَّ قَوْلَهُ لَا جُنَاحَ فِي مَعْنَى لَا بَأْسَ، وَمِنْ مَعَانِي لَا بَأْسَ مَا هُوَ تَرْكُهُ أَوْلَى لَكِنَّ هَذَا التَّرْكَ غَيْرُ كَرَاهَةٍ إلَّا أَنْ يَدَّعِيَ شُمُولَ الْكَرَاهَةِ إلَيْهِ بِنَاءً عَلَى أَنَّ الْأَحْكَامَ خَمْسَةٌ فَلَوْ لَمْ يَدْخُلْ لَانْعَدَمَ الْحَصْرُ. قَالَ الْمُنَاوِيُّ أَمَّا لَوْ تَخَلَّفَ عَنْ الْوَفَاءِ بِغَيْرِ عُذْرٍ فَهُوَ مُلَامٌ بَلْ الْتَزَمَ بَعْضُ الْأَئِمَّةِ تَأْثِيمَهُ لِمَفْهُومِ هَذَا الْحَدِيثِ وَلِأَنَّ الْوَفَاءَ بِالْعَهْدِ مَأْمُورٌ بِهِ فِي جَمِيعِ الْأَدْيَانِ لَكِنْ أَبُو حَنِيفَةَ وَالشَّافِعِيُّ عَلَى أَنَّ الْوَفَاءَ مُسْتَحَبٌّ لَا وَاجِبٌ وَيُؤَوَّلُ هَذَا الْخَبَرُ أَنَّهُ لَا يَأْثَمُ حَيْثُ كَانَ الْوَعْدُ لَازِمًا لَهُ بِذَاتِهِ لَا لِلْوَعْدِ وَمَنَعَهُ عُذْرٌ

[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJJM0ABMkPk

[4]           في صحيح لمسلم: حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَابْنُ، نُمَيْرٍ قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ إِدْرِيسَ، عَنْ رَبِيعَةَ بْنِ عُثْمَانَ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ يَحْيَى بْنِ حَبَّانَ، عَنِ الأَعْرَجِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏ الْمُؤْمِنُ الْقَوِيُّ خَيْرٌ وَأَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِ الضَّعِيفِ وَفِي كُلٍّ خَيْرٌ احْرِصْ عَلَى مَا يَنْفَعُكَ وَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللَّهِ وَلاَ تَعْجِزْ وَإِنْ أَصَابَكَ شَىْءٌ فَلاَ تَقُلْ لَوْ أَنِّي فَعَلْتُ كَانَ كَذَا وَكَذَا ‏.‏ وَلَكِنْ قُلْ قَدَرُ اللَّهِ وَمَا شَاءَ فَعَلَ فَإِنَّ لَوْ تَفْتَحُ عَمَلَ الشَّيْطَانِ‏”‏

Answered by:
Maulana Ikramul Hoque Miah

Checked & Approved by:
Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Mufti Zubair Patel