Question

Assalamu-alaikum,
I am a full time research scholar and I have a 2 years old baby. There is no one at my home who can take care of my baby, when I am in office. so I take her along and our institution has provided us with day care/cretch facilities. Since this cretch is within the institution, I make sure to visit and feed my bay at least after every one hour. But sometiomes, she becomes cranky and the caretaker feeds her meals or other food item( which I take from my home). But as a practising muslimah, I make sure to read “Bismillah” before feeding her anything. Since the caretaker is non muslim, so obviously she won’t be reciting the same. I am concerned about this matter. I read ” Bismillah” on the food items which I keep in her locker, but I am having mommy guilt. My baby sometimes throws a tantrum that only the care taker aunty will feed her meals. Furthermore, The place we are from is non-muslim dominated. KIndly guide me what should I do? and how can I raise my daughter with strong islamic morals in such an environment?

Answer

It is permissible for a non-Muslim care provider to feed your child the food you have prepared.[1]

In raising children with strong Islamic morals, parents should take an active role in rearing them and teaching them a love for Islam and right from wrong from an early age. Above all, children learn from their parents, so implementing an Islamic lifestyle and its moral order is imperative if one wishes to impart this to their children.

Mufti Abdurrahman has several videos on raising children with Islamic morals. You may refer to the following playlist.[2] Moreover, consult other books on Muslim parenting and even books by non-Muslims for general (non-religious) parenting advice.

I conclude with two Qur’anic duas for our children. Recite these duas often.

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Our Lord! Bless us with pious spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts and make us models for the righteous (Surat Furqan, 25:74).

رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلَاةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ

My Lord, make me steadfast in Salah, and my offspring as well. And, Our Lord, grant my prayer (Surat Ibrahim, 14:40)

[1] «بدائع الصنائع في ترتيب الشرائع» (4/ 176): ولا بأس باستئجار ‌ظئر ‌كافرة، والتي ولدت من فجور؛ لأن الكفر والفجور لا يؤثران في اللبن؛ لأن لبنهما لا يضر بالصبي»

[2] https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTgDm4XwxaRKeh0lnOSEpE59z2Pg_dFtQ  Highly recommend “The Absolute Basics of Bringing up Children” and “Spiritual Upbringing of Children: Getting it Right”.

Answered by:
Ifta Research Fellow

Checked & Approved by:
Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Mufti Zubair Patel