Question

As salaam-alaykum.

I had a question regarding hurmate musahaarah. Growing up I had a very rough childhood and sadly fell into chronic masturbation and watching porn. It got very very bad to the point where I essentially got desensitised and it affected all aspects of my life. Any image I would see or woman in the street I would see would make me experience lust or an erection. Alhumdulillah I am now married and have children. My situation has improved a lot but unfortunately some of the effects still remain to this day. I still get a lot of wasawas regarding this and very easily get an erection or feel lust. Sometimes when I’m playing or play fighting with my daughter I might get a slight erection if I accidentally touch against her. Even the slightest thing can trigger lust/erection or wasawas.

I have read online that different madhabs have different rules as to when hurmate musahaara is established. Could I maybe change madhabs or could a different madhabs rules apply to my case? Please any advice will be appreciated. Jazakallah

Answer

In the Hanafī school, hurmat musahara is established by touching a woman with lust if it occurs without a cloth barrier which prevents body heat from penetrating through and the woman is of a desirable age. Critically, lust is quantified as an erection or an increase in the erection if one is already erect. Moreover, the erection must occur in the present as a direct result of touching – thus, hurmat musahara is not established if one becomes erect by their own thoughts while touching, or they become aroused later on reminiscing about the touching.[1]

There are a few issues in our fiqh that often cause many doubts among people – hurmat musahara is one such rule. Shaytan puts doubts in many people in this issue, causing them anxiety and a lot of stress. This appears to be a focal point here – the fear of lust, or the doubt of lust. Stay firm in your convictions based on the fiqh itself, and try to cast these doubts away.

Our position is that there is no scope of switching to another madhhab prospectively. Moreover, in my assessment of the question, it appears that changing madhhabs will not solve the issue. It must be stressed that therapy is needed for resolution. The doubts and fears you are having are likely to do with unresolved issues from your past. The solution you are seeking is in therapy. Start therapy and start the process of reformation.

We pray that Allah eases this path of reformation, Ameen.

Answered by:
Maulana Ikramul Hoque Miah

Checked & Approved by:
Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Mufti Zubair Patel

[1]              مجمع الأنهر في شرح ملتقى الأبحر» (1/ 326): (وَكَذَا) يُوجِبُهَا (الْمَسُّ) وَلَوْ بِحَائِلٍ وَوُجِدَ حَرَارَةُ الْمَمْسُوسِ سَوَاءٌ كَانَ عَمْدًا، أَوْ سَهْوًا، أَوْ خَطَأً أَوْ كُرْهًا حَتَّى لَوْ أَيْقَظَ زَوْجَتَهُ لِيُجَامِعَهَا فَوَصَلَتْ يَدُهُ ابْنَتَهُ مِنْهَا فَقَرَصَهَا بِشَهْوَةٍ وَهِيَ مِمَّنْ تُشْتَهَى لِظَنِّ أَنَّهَا أُمَّهَا حَرُمَتْ عَلَيْهِ الْأُمُّ حُرْمَةً مُؤَبَّدَةً وَلَكَ أَنْ تُصَوِّرَهَا مِنْ جَانِبِهَا بِأَنْ أَيْقَظَتْهُ هِيَ كَذَلِكَ فَقَرَصَتْ ابْنَهُ مِنْ غَيْرِهَا، وَفِي مَسِّ الشَّعْرِ رِوَايَتَانِ» وَيُشْتَرَطُ كَوْنُهَا مُشْتَهَاةً حَالًا، أَوْ مَاضِيًا فَتَثْبُتُ بِمَسِّ الْعَجُوزِ بِشَهْوَةٍ وَلَا تَثْبُتُ بِمَسِّ صَغِيرَةٍ لَا تُشْتَهَى خِلَافًا لِأَبِي يُوسُفَ وَالْمَسُّ شَامِلٌ لِلتَّفْخِيذِ وَالتَّقْبِيلِ وَالْمُعَانَقَةِ لَكِنَّ ثُبُوتَ الْحُرْمَةِ بِالْمَسِّ مَشْرُوطٌ بِأَنْ يَصْدُقَهَا الرَّجُلُ أَنَّهُ بِشَهْوَةٍ فَإِنَّهُ لَوْ كَذَبَهَا وَأَكْبَرُ رَأْيِهِ أَنَّهُ بِغَيْرِ شَهْوَةٍ لَمْ تَحْرُمْ، وَفِي التَّقْبِيلِ وَالْمُعَانَقَةِ حَرُمَتْ مَا لَمْ يَظْهَرْ عَدَمُ الشَّهْوَةِ كَمَا فِي حَالَةِ الْخُصُومَةِ وَيَسْتَوِي فِيهَا أَنْ يُقَبِّلَ الْفَمَ أَوْ الذَّقَنَ، أَوْ الْخَدَّ، أَوْ الرَّأْسَ وَقِيلَ إنْ قَبَّلَ الْفَمَ يُفْتَى بِهَا وَإِنْ ادَّعَى أَنَّهُ بِلَا شَهْوَةٍ وَإِنْ قَبَّلَ غَيْرَهُ لَا يُفْتَى بِهَا إلَّا إذَا ثَبَتَتْ الشَّهْوَةُ (بِشَهْوَةٍ) فَلَوْ مَسَّ بِغَيْرِ شَهْوَةٍ ثُمَّ اشْتَهَى عَنْ ذَلِكَ الْمَسِّ لَا تَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهِ وَمَا ذُكِرَ فِي حَدِّ الشَّهْوَةِ مِنْ أَنَّ الصَّحِيحَ أَنْ تَنْتَشِرَ الْآلَةُ، أَوْ تَزْدَادَ انْتِشَارًا كَمَا فِي الْهِدَايَةِ وَغَيْرِهَا. وَفِي الْخُلَاصَةِ وَبِهِ يُفْتَى فَكَانَ هُوَ الْمَذْهَبُ وَكَثِيرٌ مِنْ الْمَشَايِخِ لَمْ يَشْتَرِطُوا سِوَى أَنْ يَمِيلَ إلَيْهَا بِالْقَلْبِ وَيَشْتَهِيَ أَنْ يُعَانِقَهَا. وَفِي الْغَايَةِ وَعَلَيْهِ الِاعْتِمَادُ وَفَائِدَةُ الِاخْتِلَافِ تَظْهَرُ فِي الشَّيْخِ وَالْعِنِّينِ وَاَلَّذِي مَاتَتْ شَهْوَتُهُ فَعَلَى الْأَوَّلِ لَا يَثْبُتُ وَعَلَى الثَّانِي تَثْبُتُ كَمَا فِي الذَّخِيرَةِ هَذَا فِي حَقِّ الرِّجَالِ وَأَمَّا فِي حَقِّ النِّسَاءِ فَالِاشْتِهَاءُ بِالْقَلْبِ (مِنْ أَحَدِ الْجَانِبَيْنِ) ، وَفِي الْمُضْمَرَاتِ أَنَّ شَهْوَةَ أَحَدِهِمَا كَافِيَةٌ إذَا كَانَ الْآخَرُ مَحَلَّ الشَّهْوَةِ فَلَا يُشْتَرَطُ أَنْ يَكُونَا بَالِغَيْنِ.

«الفتاوى الهندية» (1/ 274): «وَإِذَا نَظَرَ الرَّجُلُ فَرْجَ ابْنَتِهِ بِغَيْرِ شَهْوَةٍ فَتَمَنَّى أَنْ يَكُونَ لَهُ جَارِيَةٌ مِثْلُهَا فَوَقَعَتْ مِنْهُ شَهْوَةٌ مَعَ وُقُوعِ بَصَرِهِ قَالُوا إنْ كَانَتْ الشَّهْوَةُ وَقَعَتْ عَلَى ابْنَتِهِ حَرُمَتْ عَلَيْهِ امْرَأَتُهُ وَإِنْ كَانَتْ الشَّهْوَةُ وَقَعَتْ عَلَى الَّتِي تَمَنَّاهَا لَا تَحْرُمُ؛ لِأَنَّ نَظَرَهُ فِي هَذِهِ الصُّورَةِ إلَى فَرْجِ ابْنَتِهِ لَمْ يَكُنْ عَنْ شَهْوَةٍ، كَذَا فِي فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ وَالذَّخِيرَةِ.»

حاشية ابن عابدين = رد المحتار ط الحلبي» (3/ 33): (قَوْلُهُ: وَالْعِبْرَةُ إلَخْ) قَالَ فِي الْفَتْحِ: وَقَوْلُهُ: بِشَهْوَةٍ فِي مَوْضِعِ الْحَالِ، فَيُفِيدُ اشْتِرَاطَ الشَّهْوَةِ حَالَ الْمَسِّ، فَلَوْ مَسَّ بِغَيْرِ شَهْوَةٍ، ثُمَّ اشْتَهَى عَنْ ذَلِكَ الْمَسِّ لَا تَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهِ. اهـ. وَكَذَلِكَ فِي النَّظَرِ كَمَا فِي الْبَحْرِ، فَلَوْ اشْتَهَى بَعْدَمَا غَضَّ بَصَرَهُ لَا تَحْرُمُ. قُلْت: وَيُشْتَرَطُ وُقُوعُ الشَّهْوَةِ عَلَيْهَا لَا عَلَى غَيْرِهَا لِمَا فِي الْفَيْضِ لَوْ نَظَرَ إلَى فَرَجِ بِنْتِهِ بِلَا ‌شَهْوَةٍ ‌فَتَمَنَّى جَارِيَةً مِثْلَهَا فَوَقَعَتْ لَهُ الشَّهْوَةُ عَلَى الْبِنْتِ تَثْبُتُ الْحُرْمَةُ، وَإِنْ وَقَعَتْ عَلَى مَنْ تَمَنَّاهَا فَلَا.»