Question
Assalamu Alaykum
The questions below are my response to the answer that was provided to my previous questions.
Q1) How do I ensure that there are always other men around me in the workplace and how does having other men who will most likely be non muslim help me protect myself from sins and how does it help me to protect myself from evil in the workplace.
Q2) I cannot always ensure that there are always other men around me because nowadays many of the managers are women unfortunately and so there are times when the manager may call me into her office for a meeting or there could be other times when it is just me and other women in a room. So what should I do in this situation when there is only me and another female in the room or other women in a room. How do I protect myself from all sins and how do I protect myself from all evil in this situation because men and women cannot be alone together because the third person is shaitan.
Q3) How do I stop getting evil, bad and sinful thoughts in the workplace.
Q4) How do I control my desires. I am not married and many scholars say that a man who is not married should fast to control his desires but when I fast my desires increase. Is there any other way of controlling the desires other than fasting.
Q5) If a woman tries to shake my hand in the workplace. What should I do. I know that in Islam it is haram to shake a womans hand but how can I do it in a away that the woman does not get offended or something because in my previous workplace I ignored the women and I wouldn’t look at them when they would talk to me and I would stay away from them in order to protect myself from sins and from evil and in order to protect myself from false accusations and my manager didn’t like what I was doing and he said that I don’t know how to communicate and he fired me from my job. So what should I do about this problem that I am facing because I live in a non muslim country and every company has men and women working together and I need to have a job in order to have an income and in order to survive. Without a job and without any income I cannot survive and I cannot get married. So please give me some practical advice as soon as possible that I can actually implement and that is feasible for me to solve this problem that I am facing.
Q6) How do I stop fantasising about women and how do I stop fantasising about evil, sinful and bad things.
Answer
1. Having other men around you will not stop you from all sins and evils, however, it will ensure that you are not alone with women (khalwah), and therefore not sinful for this particular reason.
2. If the job you have chosen requires you to remain at times in seclusion with women, then as a minimum you should ensure that the room you are in is a public space where there is no privacy. Ensuring at least this much will mean that you are technically not in seclusion with a woman. If this is not possible and you are really struggling with this, as is clear from your question, then unfortunately, there is no other solution other than looking for an alternative role or career where you can work amongst Muslims who implement segregation or work from home etc.
3. If working with women is causing these sinful thoughts and despite numerous attempts to rectify this you were not able to, then as mentioned above, you may want to consider changing roles. If being around women is your weak point then as long as you are around them you will continue sinning.
4. If you have had the habit of looking at and fantasising about women then it may take some time for you to overcome this. You will need to do the following:
a. Make a firm resolution to stop.
b. Implement some practical steps to avoid these thoughts, such as engaging your mind with something else whenever you start to think about women, lowering your gaze, avoid watching videos with women in them, fasting, etc.
c. Increase your relationship with Allah the Almighty through various acts of worship including salat, reciting Qur’an, making du’a and constantly remaining in a state of remembrance of Allah the Almighty.
5. Ignoring women is not the solution. You should just explain to them that your religion does not allow you to touch another woman besides your wife and unmarriageable kin.
6. See point 4.
Answered by:
Ifta Research Fellow
Checked & Approved by:
Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Mufti Zubair Patel