There is hadith that says whoever controls his anger Allah will let him choose whichever hoor he likes. I fully understand that hoors are only for men and understand why. I read somewhere that this hadith means that the reward of a man who controls his anger is paradise and once he enters it he gets an additional reward of being allowed to choose a hoor. But the reward of a woman is that she enters paradise with no additional reward for anger control. it seems that for anger control a man gets rewarded more as he gets paradise and then gets to choose hoor. If a woman controls her anger, will she enter paradise and be allowed to choose any reward she likes? Or is she rewarded less than men? If hoor are for men only why is there nothing for women only?
When it comes to the narrations of rewards we have to understand the objective and purpose behind the narrations as well as understand the reality of Paradise. Insha Allah if we understand these two points this question which you have raised as well as other similar questions will be resolved.
We have added a link at the bottom of this answer, for a more detailed answer on a similar question. Please read through that answer. In summary the points are as follows:
Firstly, a person will get what they desire in Paradise. It is not like this worldly life (dunya) where people look at what others have and feel jealousy. Rather, each person will be content and satisfied with what Allah the Almighty has blessed them with.
Reward in Paradise is not based on number, or exclusivity of reward, rather it is based on achieving satisfaction. It is possible that two people are given the exact same reward but one is satisfied and the other is not. For example, two siblings, a boy and girl are both working towards a goal and have been promised a reward upon reaching that goal. The boy would like a bike whereas the girl would like a phone. If they both reach their goal and their parents buy them both a bike or both a phone or both a different item to those mentioned, then in all three cases satisfaction will not have been achieved, either for one or both of them despite them being rewarded equally. From this we understand that giving the same reward to two people might not necessarily achieve satisfaction.
The narrations regarding reward are there for the purpose of motivation. It is possible that promising men hurs in Paradise is something which will motivate them more than the other adornments and luxuries of Paradise. As for women, a promise of hurs may not be something that would necessarily motivate them. Rather, the adornments and luxuries which are already mentioned are sufficient to interest and motivate women without the need to mention other rewards which they may also get. It is for this reason Allah the Almighty has mentioned a specific reward for men which will motivate them.
These are just a few points as a summary. Please read the following detailed answer. You may also find the following lectures helpful.
Ifta Research Fellow
Checked & Approved by:
Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Mufti Zubair Patel