Question
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuhu,
I have two concerns regarding missed fard fasts.
Among my three children, I have accumulated 261 days of missed Ramadan fasts.
Over the years, I have attempted various plans, such as fasting on Mondays and Thursdays or continuous fasting until completion. However, each year, I enter the new month of Ramadan with only one or two days completed during the preceding year. Unfortunately, my reliance on coffee has become an addiction, and the headaches I experience on the first day of fasting make it challenging to continue. I recognize this struggle as a test from Shaytan or my own nafs, as I can overcome it during the blessed month of Ramadan.
I am also uncertain about the year I began fasting in my youth. Despite consulting my parents, they cannot recall. Given that I reached puberty at an early age, it is estimated that I missed two or three Ramadans. I started praying at the age of 12, having already missed two years. Alhamdulillah, I am diligently working on completing the qada prayers, even though it’s at a slow pace.
While I make progress with my qada prayers, I find it challenging to address my qada fasts, leading to spiritual distress. This has even started affecting the new days missed during Ramadan due to my menses, adding to the existing count. I feel embarrassed and as if I am unable to complete them. Is there an opinion that allows me to offer fidya or a similar compensation?
If not, how can I determine the number of years I missed during my youth? Could you provide advice on adhering to a schedule for completing my fasts?
Jazak Allah Khairan for all that you do. I greatly benefit from your courses and online content.
Riham
Answer
You must make up your fasts through fasting only, and giving the substitute payment (fidya) will not be permissible. This is because principally, fidya is valid mainly when a person upon whom fasting is obligatory is permanently unable to fast or make up for it later, upon which paying fidya for each missed fast becomes mandatory (wajib) on them. This is usually the case for a person who is too old to fast, and it is not expected that they will later gain the strength and ability to make up for the missed fasts[1].
Another instance that necessitates fidya is if a person misses obligatory fard fasts due to valid reasons such as sickness or travel, and then has the ability to make up the fasts after Ramadan but does not do so until they pass away. In this case, the person should have made a bequest (wasiyya) before their death for fidya to be given for the number of missed fasts that they could have made up[2].
Since your situation does not fall under either category, you must make up your fasts through fasting only. As you have recognised yourself, the main hurdle is rather psychological than physical, as you are able to fast in Ramadan properly.
In your situation, it is possible that you feel overwhelmed by the large number of missed fasts and may have unrealistic expectations about how to fulfil this obligation. So then, when you begin executing the plan, the subconscious stress of how many more fasts still remain keeps you stuck and prevents you from following through.
But you must understand that if an excuse is sufficient to overpower the resolution, that demonstrates that the resolution was not strong enough from the beginning. So instead of unrealistic ambition, it may be that you lack resolution. Therefore, you subconsciously search for any excuse to skip fasting one day, such as a headache during non-Ramadan days, which then breaks your track record of fasting, making it subsequently easier to continue going against your initial plan.
This would no doubt cause you psychological distress and trigger feelings of inadequacy and re-affirm your helplessness so that you remain in the same mental feedback loop of how impossible it is for you to fulfil your goal. To counter these thoughts that subsequently rule over your actions, or lack thereof, you will need to be aware of overthinking and over-planning. Some people have it in their personality to spend lots of time planning everything and enjoying the process of thinking and dreaming high ambitions, and become too pleased and content with their plan to then be able to execute it. Others overthink and stress themselves out to the extent that it exhausts and cripples them from taking action. In both cases, living in the mind is what prevents them from doing anything about their goal in reality. Therefore, you must work through your thoughts every time they overcome you. This could be done in various ways, such as by journaling to express emotions, identifying the specific feelings causing distress, and then talking yourself out of the negative thoughts.
As for taking action, you can make up the fasts incrementally by giving yourself smaller targets to meet, such as five fasts, instead of thinking of the end goal of 261 fasts. Telling yourself that you only have to make up five fasts is less overwhelming to the subconscious mind than 261. Once you complete the first set, make another goal of five fasts. Do not think of the remaining 256, only of the next five. In this manner, even if you do not get through them in the time frame you may have expected of yourself, you will inevitably be making progress.
Although you have asked for advice on adhering to a schedule, understand that some people are naturally repelled by a schedule, and although they work well without one, their productivity takes a plunge when they feel compelled to follow a timetable. It is crucial to understand how your body and mind work; if you enjoy sticking to a schedule in all areas of life, then working through your psychological state as explained above will suffice you to overcome your blockages so that you can create and stick to a schedule for yourself in this case as well. However, if you do not enjoy following schedules generally, do not use that tactic for making up missed fasts; your mind and body will rebel against it and keep you feeling helpless. Instead, go with what your body feels; some days or weeks you may find the strength to fast, and others you will not. Hormonal changes throughout the month may also impact your physical or psychological strength to handle fasting.
All the while, beseech Allah Almighty for divine enablement, and express your gratitude to Him, especially when He allows you to complete your smaller goals.
I have not addressed the excuses that make it difficult to fast, as that may be coffee for you right now, and once you overcome that, the excuse will become something else. And for another person, the excuse will be yet another thing. The point here is to realise that excuses are greatly superficial, and have various solutions, and it is up to you to choose a solution that resonates with you most. For example, you may choose to drink your coffee for the pre-fast meal (suhur), or choose a day when your schedule is not so demanding that a headache would deter your productivity if you fast, such as the weekend.
All this is regarding your first query. As for your second query, you have given the estimate yourself of missing approximately two or three Ramadans, based on your missed salats. To calculate a number as accurately as possible, check the number of days of each Ramadan you missed, i.e., either twenty-nine or thirty days. And err on the side of caution, both regarding how many fasts you missed for each Ramadan, and how many Ramadans you missed, i.e., three Ramadans instead of two.
Let not the precautious additions overwhelm you further, so to help you make up these fasts, you might keep this calculation separate to the 261. Once you have completed the 261 in due time, begin fasting for these early years; by the time you reach this stage, the remaining number of missed fasts will be much less and you will be in the final stretch of your goal, thereby possibly strengthening your resolve and ability to complete them all including the precautious additions.
May Allah Almighty grant your resolve and strength in upholding your obligations.
[1] «تبيين الحقائق شرح كنز الدقائق وحاشية الشلبي» (1/ 337):«قَالَ – رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ – (وَلِلشَّيْخِ الْفَانِي وَهُوَ يَفْدِي فَقَطْ) أَيْ لِلشَّيْخِ الْفَانِي الْفِطْرُ عَلَى نَحْوِ مَا تَقَدَّمَ فِي الْحَامِلِ وَالْمُرْضِعِ مِنْ الْعَطْفِ وَهُوَ وَحْدَهُ يَفْدِي دُونَ غَيْرِهِ مِمَّنْ تَقَدَّمَ ذِكْرُهُمْ لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى {وَعَلَى الَّذِينَ يُطِيقُونَهُ فِدْيَةٌ طَعَامُ} [البقرة: 184] أَيْ لَا يُطِيقُونَهُ وَالْعَرَبُ تَحْذِفُ لَا إذَا كَانَ مَوْضِعُهَا ظَاهِرًا»
[2] «حاشية ابن عابدين = رد المحتار ط الحلبي» (2/ 423):«(فَإِنْ مَاتُوا فِيهِ) أَيْ فِي ذَلِكَ الْعُذْرِ (فَلَا تَجِبُ) عَلَيْهِمْ (الْوَصِيَّةُ بِالْفِدْيَةِ) لِعَدَمِ إدْرَاكِهِمْ عِدَّةً مِنْ أَيَّامٍ أُخَرَ (وَلَوْ مَاتُوا بَعْدَ زَوَالِ الْعُذْرِ وَجَبَتْ) الْوَصِيَّةُ بِقَدْرِ إدْرَاكِهِمْ عِدَّةً مِنْ أَيَّامٍ أُخَرَ، وَأَمَّا مَنْ أَفْطَرَ عَمْدًا فَوُجُوبُهَا عَلَيْهِ بِالْأَوْلَى (وَفَدَى) لُزُومًا (عَنْهُ) أَيْ عَنْ الْمَيِّتِ (وَلِيُّهُ) الَّذِي يَتَصَرَّفُ فِي مَالِهِ (كَالْفِطْرَةِ) قَدْرًا (بَعْدَ قُدْرَتِهِ عَلَيْهِ) أَيْ عَلَى قَضَاءِ الصَّوْمِ (وَفَوْتِهِ) أَيْ فَوْتِ الْقَضَاءِ بِالْمَوْتِ فَلَوْ فَاتَهُ عَشْرَةُ أَيَّامٍ فَقَدَرَ عَلَى خَمْسَةٍ فَدَاهَا فَقَطْ (بِوَصِيَّتِهِ مِنْ الثُّلُثِ) مُتَعَلِّقٌ بِفَدَى وَهَذَا لَوْ لَهُ وَارِثٌ وَإِلَّا فَمِنْ الْكُلِّ قُهُسْتَانِيٌّ»
Answered by:
Ifta Research Fellow
Checked & Approved by:
Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Mufti Zubair Patel